Conversation with God and Parents

Dear Diary,

I have been experiencing some troubling thoughts at the moment. My boyfriend is keen on pursuing our relationship further however, I feel really compelled to stick to the word of God. I also don’t think my parents would be to happy about me taking part in a sexual relationship.

God tells us that we are not supposed to have sexual intercourse until have we have been bound to our partners through marriage. I understand the logic behind this command although with the changing times and the modern world around me, I am beginning to struggle with the concept. This rule was created because, through God’s teaching, we have learnt that the purpose of sexual intercourse is to begin a family. You can not create a family, however, if you are using family planning methods. The use of contraception methods are preventing the life of a potential child and that is far from God’s plan. I am feeling awfully confused about my feelings towards this idea as I am experiencing the constant pressures of both my boyfriend, parents and God. I am hoping that when I make my decision on what to do, it will be clear cut and full of confidence.

Im not sure how to tell my parents, i'm not even sure if i want to tell them. I am very confused and stressed because my boyfriend is quite keen on starting a sexual relationship with me although  i’m not too sure i'm ready for anything like that, although I know that I want to because I  love him.

Im scared of what my parents will think if they supposedly find out i've been having intercourse with him because as a family we are very religious and i dont want to let my parents down. My parents didn't even have intercourse with each other before they had me, because they always believed in the will of God. Although I am old enough to make my own decisions, i'm just afraid of what others may think of me and what my relationship with God and my parents will be like after I decide to have intercourse with my boyfriend intentionally trying to prevent the life of a child.

Ive decided im going to think quite long and hard about my situation and also let my boyfriend know what's going on and what he thinks I should do, I just want to be able to make my own decisions in life and not have to be afraid of what could happen because of what others may think of me.

Lots of Love,

CHLOE AND ALESSANDRA XXXXXXXXX